No-Go For Deep Emotional Work
Group programs with deep emotional work are one of those things that I will NOT be offering.
There are a couple of reasons why I feel very strongly about NOT offering them.
One of the most effective tools I use with my one-to-one clients to help clear deep emotional hurt is age regression – that is, in a deeply relaxed state (trance), when you go back and review an event in your life which triggered the behaviour or belief that you currently want to change.
I STRONGLY disagree with doing this in a group setting because:
When I speak to the clients in trance, my wording would have to be very generic and it wouldn’t induce strong enough feelings for everyone.
I’ve heard therapists using wording like, “Go back to a time in your childhood between the ages of 2 and 12…”!!?
Err, specific? No?
Err, leading the client? Yes!
I strongly believe the client should decide herself which age she regresses to and which event she recalls. Whether it is when her boss shouted at her when she was in her first job, when the teacher made her feel small as a teenager or when her mum put her down in front of relatives as a small child.
Yes, a lot of limiting beliefs were formed at a very young age.
But who am I to dictate to a client which age she should go back to, which memory she feels safe to recall or which memory is important for her healing right now?
I believe the client knows best and my role is as a facilitator NOT as an instructor.
The golden rule I was taught is: Deal With What Emerges
i.e. do not assume anything and let the client go where she wants to go.
Dealing with what emerges is what builds rapport and trust and gets the best results.
I’ve heard firsthand from someone who did a group course and she was worried because she didn’t regress at all. She was completely confused as to what that meant:
- Good or bad?
- Not suitable for hypnosis or nothing to worry about because she doesn’t have a lot to heal anyway?
- Or does it mean that she’s not in touch with her feelings?
- Or were the instructions simply that – instructions, not guidance – and not personal enough? (You can probably guess which answer I’d choose).
She felt too embarrassed to ask the program leader because everyone else apparently regressed without problem. So, she never found out and finished the course confused and not feeling much better than before the course.
It would be near on impossible for me to properly guide a group of people all having different memories whilst in trance.
The aim is to help them find understanding, acceptance, forgiveness, gratitude and closure.
In a group at a SET pace? Superficial at best. Ineffective and a waste of time at worst.
This part of the work requires the client to tell me what she is experiencing.
She needs time to dialogue with the person in the memory to tell them how she feels as that 8 year old. It’s important to hear what the other person has to say (really, this happens during a Gestalt dialogue, it’s so amazing).
And she needs to come back in her mind to the present day to reflect on the episode with her mature, adult mind and give a report on how she NOW understands the situation back then and what she has learnt from the situation.
This is such important work and CANNOT be replaced by generic, non-participatory trips down memory lane.
And don’t get me started on PRE-RECORDED regression sessions!
All of the above scenarios apply to pre-recorded regression sessions AND SOME.
I’ve heard directly from someone who was listening to a pre-recorded regression session when her husband suddenly came into the room. He was shocked to see that she had tears streaming down her face. She was very upset for quite a while afterwards.
She had NO ONE to help her through the episode she had recalled. She had no one to assist with processing the feelings. She was left with a strong and unpleasant memory that lingered without learning how to find understanding, acceptance, forgiveness, gratitude and closure. All things necessary to be able to let go for good.
So, THAT’S why I DON’T offer a group program, live or pre-recorded.
I prefer to tailor my work specifically to my 1-to-1 clients so that it’s highly effective and gets quick and long-lasting results for them.
If you like the sound of how I work and are ready to make a change in your life or achieve the next exciting goal, let’s talk. Book a call here and you can tell me what you want to change and how you’d love to feel.