Have you ever felt hurt by someone not doing what you want them to do? Of course, you have. We all have.
Watch the captioned video or read the article below (or do both!) to find out what causes the emotion of hurt and how to release it.
Have you ever felt hurt by someone not doing what you want them to do?
We all have our own value systems and expectations. The problems start when I expect you to live up to my values and my expectations. That’s when we can easily feel hurt because somebody might not live up to them.
We might say, “Why didn’t they do it that way? I would have done it that way!” Or, “I always do it that way!” And that’s when we get hurt because the other person is not you and you are not them. When we expect others to live up to our expectations, and our value system, it’s a recipe for disappointment and hurt.
The expectations we have of other people are called claims, and they’re very toxic and are not good for communication or relationships. They can lead to misunderstandings and feelings of hurt: “Why didn’t they do it like this? Or why didn’t they say this thing? Why didn’t they volunteer to do this thing? I always volunteer!” Or whatever the topic might be.
For example, I love volunteering to organise events in my hometown within the ex-pat community.
We had a barbecue in September and we invited the whole 250 people from a group I manage. Some people said, “Oh my god, you know that 250 people are going to come!” I replied that from my experience 1% will come, and that was right because we had about 25 people there. And it was fantastic! (If I got my maths right, haha!)
Now, I don’t expect other people to give up their own garden for an event too. It’s a possibility if that’s what they want to do. But if that’s not their kind of thing, it’s fine by me. They can organise something else or not organise anything if that’s just not one of their values or in alignment with their personality. But I don’t expect somebody else to do the same as me.
If we have other events coming up in the group that others have organised, we have them. If we don’t, we don’t. If I feel like organising another event, I’ll do it. But I’m not going to put myself under pressure and do it every single month because that’s just not something that I want to do.
If I can’t say it with a wholehearted yes, then I’m not going to do it and I’ll feel good about it.
My husband and I were both excited about the idea of hosting a barbecue. We stuck to the current rules of guests being vaccinated, tested or recovered to cover all bases legally here in Germany and it was fine. We really enjoyed it. We didn’t have any resentment about organising the party. We did it with a wholehearted yes and so we didn’t feel hurt.
However, if you expect somebody else to behave the way that you behave, for example, if I suddenly got upset with somebody else, because they’re not organising something or jumping in like I always do, then that can lead to feelings of hurt.
It’s the same in our families or with colleagues. If we expect them to behave the same way as us or live up to our values, then that’s where hurt comes from. It can build up over the years and lead to resentment.
A recent client talked about the hurt she was feeling from some of the things that her parents have said and what they do or don’t do.
But the thing is, they all have different values and different ways of doing things. I’m helping her to release those feelings of hurt through hypnosis, to release them on a deep, subconscious level.
These feelings have built up over the years and no amount of talking will change the way she feels. Talking will help her to understand why she feels the way she does but hypnosis will help her to feel differently about the situation.
Resentment and hurt can build up between people if they don’t live up to your expectations or behave the way that you want them to.
And it’s a possibility that it doesn’t actually have anything to do with them directly. It might have something to do with the past, and the things that you’ve experienced in the past, where you haven’t resolved them.
So you either do something wholeheartedly, or you say no if it’s up to you.
And if somebody else doesn’t do what you would do in a certain situation, it’s helpful if you can change your perception or your communication so that you accept that other people do things in different ways to you and that’s ok.
Sometimes it can make us a little bit sad but if we can change our perception, we’ll feel a lot better about it.
If you want to release stuck emotions like hurt that have been building up for a long time, really let go of them, learn to accept other people’s differences, let go of your expectations and feel free so that if anybody else says no to you in the future or doesn’t respond in the way you would normally do, you’re not triggered by that old feeling of hurt, then hypnosis is the way to do it.
Hypnosis is all about releasing stuck emotions on a deep, soul level.
Talking will get you only so far but hypnosis will change things inside of you quickly, effectively and in a long-lasting way.
Find out how I can help you with my bespoke hypnosis programme by booking a free consultation call HERE where we’ll talk about what you want to change how you’d love to feel instead.