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Putting On The Brakes?
How supported do you feel in your business?
You’re probably a solopreneur, a coach or consultant and you’re working on your own. You might have some virtual assistance or some kind of freelancers working for you, but most of the work you’re doing on your own.
Now, last year, you might have been like me – I was much more successful than I was the year before. I’ve done my stats and worked it all out. I’m really pleased with the progress that I’ve made.
But I was wondering why I felt like I was putting the brakes on towards the end of the year.
This week is the first week back to school in this part of Germany – we’ve had three weeks of Christmas holidays and it’s been quite gruelling! I’d scaled down my marketing during that time. I’ve been present on social media, but not as present as I normally would be.
And I was thinking, “Am I actually putting the brakes on? Is there something holding me back there?”
Uncovering The Block
So I dived deep into those thoughts and feelings and tried to work out what it was all about. Because of course, that’s what I do. I’m a hypnotherapist, and I look to see if there are any subconscious messages that are trying to get through that I’m not logically thinking about with my conscious mind.
And I had this memory of my Mum when I was about 16 and she went back to full-time work. She absolutely loved it because she suddenly had a social network and loved the people that she worked with. She had a great time, they had such a laugh at that place. And at the same time, it was really, really hard for her.
Before Mum started, she was considering it for quite a while. And this was the key point for me: She said to my dad, “I’d like to start working full time again”. And he said, “Well, if you think you can manage everything.” At that moment, Mum knew that she had to do EVERYTHING on her own – running the household completely AND do a full-time job up in London.
Now, I was still at school at the time finishing my A-Levels and then I started work and was going up to London with my whole family in the car. We were out of the house for 12 hours a day. We used to leave at seven in the morning and we came back at seven at night.
At the weekend, my Mum would batch cook and freeze meals for the following week. She would still change all the beds every week because that’s what she’d always done. She was doing all the cleaning and everything else that she needed to do. And she was making a roast dinner on a Sunday for us and my grandparents who came round regularly.
After three years Mum decided to stop working and retire early. She put it down to big changes in the company and that she wasn’t having so much fun anymore.
Reflect and Realign
Now, when I reflected on that, it made me realise that actually that was NOT the reason that she stopped, in my opinion, at least.
Mum stopped because she was totally on her own. She wasn’t supported in any way.
My parents did consider getting a cleaner in at one stage, but they decided against it because of the cost and having a stranger in the house. But I think it was because Mum had a bad conscience, didn’t want to give up or let the side down. She kept soldiering on because she felt that was her duty.
But literally, she was totally burnt out after three years and had to give up.
And while I was reflecting on this, I had a massive aha moment, “Oh my God! That’s where I’m putting the brakes on with me! Because I’m scared of getting to the stage where I can’t cope and haven’t got the support.”
And then I reflected again, and I said, “Ah, but my husband’s not my dad! My husband’s more supportive. He knows that when the time’s right, we’ll get a cleaner. And then I’ll also know that I’ll have a VA and Social Media Manager. These are things that I’m progressing towards. I know that when the time’s right, I’ll get this help. I already have an accountant and a coach and I’ll have more support as and when I need it.”
So I calmed myself down by saying, “Okay, this was your mum’s situation. This is not your situation.”
Because of what I’d seen and witnessed as a young girl, a 16-year-old, just before I started going out to work for the first time, it had really influenced me and left a deep and lasting impression.
Now, thank goodness, I can release it and let it go. I now say to myself, “I am fully supported in all areas of my life.”
How Supported Are You?
Is this something that’s holding you back from reaching out in your business? From showing up as much as you possibly can to move forwards? Do you feel supported? And if you don’t, how could you find that support?
And if you’d like support in uncovering some of the subconscious patterns that are holding you back from the success you want, then book a chat here and let’s talk.
